Yes I am back after a hiatus. After a period of writer's block, new job stresses, and the lack of time to breathe, I am back.
My own struggle with my new job and the general situation of a lot of people I know just got me thinking? Why do almost all of us make a living out of something we cant stand doing?
I loved my new job in the beginning. I actually spent a while where there was absolutely no such thing as Monday blues. But when the stress notched up a lot and the whole reality of the corporate politics sunk in, Mondays make me physically nauseated.
And as it goes, we all start off thinking we are doing something we are going to love. But what happens when you realize its not exactly what you wanted? Well what almost everyone I know does is just swallow the frustration and get on with it. Because at the end of the day its what gets the food on the dinner table.
Its very idealistic to say just quit and find something you are passionate about. Its true though not practical. What I found is a middle path. Do what you are hating ONLY if you can justify the suffering for something worthwhile. And often we don't have to look too far. For most people its found at home (well wherever the heart is).
I saw a guy on TV who cleans public toilets and he said, the days he gets completely disgusted he thinks about his precious little daughter and how he might afford to actually send her to college one day, and that gets him going again.
My inspiration is sitting on the couch as I type. The thought of building a life together (as opposed to him doing all the crap and me just sitting on my backside) just instantly makes me feel like its all worth it. Maybe one day when opportunity knocks and I can actually get a big break (or make a break for myself) I'll definitely do something I truly love.
To all the folks who never have Monday blues, I salute thee. For the rest of us - keep the IM of life open, opportunity pings very rarely but it just might!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The Melting Pot
One month ago, I landed in a place which is a melting pot in the true sense. I arrived at Singapore, a place of confluence of many cultures, races and variety of people.
I love observing people. In this month of wandering the streets and exploring the place I’ve had a chance to observe and interact with people who on the outside seemed really different from me, with very different backgrounds.
When you put so many different people together in one little place, you’ll find one common trait: The ability to adapt. It starts with language and goes onto a lot of different things like body language and mannerisms.
One good example is a little Indian boy I sat next to on a bus one day. He was probably around 7 or 8 years old. He was on the phone with a parent. Judging by the accent of his Tamil, I would say he was not a native Indian but the child of Indian expats who’s been here for most of his life. He was enthusiastically telling his parent which bus route is ideal for the parent. I was amazed at his independence and knowledge of the geography of the place, which is very uncommon back home. He spoke English occasionally with a proper Indian accent. He abruptly hung up on his parent saying he was getting another call. The other call was probably a friend his own age. I was taken aback when he switched to rapid Mandarin with this caller. And also he spoke intermittently in English but this time with a pronounced Chinese accent!
This is just one of the many people I’ve observed. Another thing that struck me is that no matter how different we seem on the outside, we are pretty much the same on the inside.
We all have the same problems with work politics, the same evil boss scenario, bad bonuses etc. You will find the same thoughtful wife who thinks ahead and carries an extra sweater for her husband. You will find the same guy who cooks for his partner when she’s stressed out. You will find the same parent handling difficult kids. And most common of them all, you will always find people looking for love.
But the most important people-lesson I’ve learnt is this: No matter where in the world you are, no matter how mixed the group is ethnically or otherwise, guys who never knew each other will instantly bond over alcohol, girls who meet for the 1st time will become close friends over a shopping spree.
I love observing people. In this month of wandering the streets and exploring the place I’ve had a chance to observe and interact with people who on the outside seemed really different from me, with very different backgrounds.
When you put so many different people together in one little place, you’ll find one common trait: The ability to adapt. It starts with language and goes onto a lot of different things like body language and mannerisms.
One good example is a little Indian boy I sat next to on a bus one day. He was probably around 7 or 8 years old. He was on the phone with a parent. Judging by the accent of his Tamil, I would say he was not a native Indian but the child of Indian expats who’s been here for most of his life. He was enthusiastically telling his parent which bus route is ideal for the parent. I was amazed at his independence and knowledge of the geography of the place, which is very uncommon back home. He spoke English occasionally with a proper Indian accent. He abruptly hung up on his parent saying he was getting another call. The other call was probably a friend his own age. I was taken aback when he switched to rapid Mandarin with this caller. And also he spoke intermittently in English but this time with a pronounced Chinese accent!
This is just one of the many people I’ve observed. Another thing that struck me is that no matter how different we seem on the outside, we are pretty much the same on the inside.
We all have the same problems with work politics, the same evil boss scenario, bad bonuses etc. You will find the same thoughtful wife who thinks ahead and carries an extra sweater for her husband. You will find the same guy who cooks for his partner when she’s stressed out. You will find the same parent handling difficult kids. And most common of them all, you will always find people looking for love.
But the most important people-lesson I’ve learnt is this: No matter where in the world you are, no matter how mixed the group is ethnically or otherwise, guys who never knew each other will instantly bond over alcohol, girls who meet for the 1st time will become close friends over a shopping spree.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Life on the other side of the web cam
One fateful day last month my life changed forever. Now nothing will ever be the same again. Yipppppeeeee :D
As the wise people say, the only permanent thing is life is change. For most people change comes in one at a time. But the path I chose involved every single thing in my life changing at the exact same time. So with a brave heart, exactly a month ago, I took the plunge called marriage. Its been the best month of my life so far. Life's suddenly one big adventure.
Soon after the event the world moves in a haze of relatives and gifts. Then came the honeymoon in heaven, all through which I kept asking my new husband if it was all real or just a fast paced dream.
After a hurried goodbye to my parents, friends and everything I had called home, I headed off to be part of a new family. It was a wonderful week of meeting my new family and spending quality time with them. More hurried goodbyes and numerous attempts at stuffing my whole life into 2 suitcases later, we arrived at the country that was going to be my new home.
I fell in love with our house the minute I set foot in it. A few hours and lots of shopping and hard work later that house became our home. My new little nest I share with my best friend who was now also my husband.
We spent another wonderful week shopping, sight seeing and meeting a lot of friends. And then it was time for my man to go back to work, and finally some semblance of a routine sunk in. I'm making the best of my time off by going out and exploring this new country with my new friends.
New husband, new family, new no-job situation, new country, new faces, new friends, new home all at once might seem really overwhelming to the outside observer. But for me its just been a wonderful experience. And there's just one reason for it. I owe it to my husband, and all his friends and family who've so far been amazing people. Every single person has really charming and made me feel very welcome wherever I went. Its the people you meet that make or break this sort of a situation and I'm lucky to have these folks around.
Now I see my family and friends from back home from the other side of the webcam. Thank heavens for modern technology. I now have the best of both worlds, and life's going to keep changing. I know I'll do just great, because I have the best people both old and new whom I can call family and friends.
As the wise people say, the only permanent thing is life is change. For most people change comes in one at a time. But the path I chose involved every single thing in my life changing at the exact same time. So with a brave heart, exactly a month ago, I took the plunge called marriage. Its been the best month of my life so far. Life's suddenly one big adventure.
Soon after the event the world moves in a haze of relatives and gifts. Then came the honeymoon in heaven, all through which I kept asking my new husband if it was all real or just a fast paced dream.
After a hurried goodbye to my parents, friends and everything I had called home, I headed off to be part of a new family. It was a wonderful week of meeting my new family and spending quality time with them. More hurried goodbyes and numerous attempts at stuffing my whole life into 2 suitcases later, we arrived at the country that was going to be my new home.
I fell in love with our house the minute I set foot in it. A few hours and lots of shopping and hard work later that house became our home. My new little nest I share with my best friend who was now also my husband.
We spent another wonderful week shopping, sight seeing and meeting a lot of friends. And then it was time for my man to go back to work, and finally some semblance of a routine sunk in. I'm making the best of my time off by going out and exploring this new country with my new friends.
New husband, new family, new no-job situation, new country, new faces, new friends, new home all at once might seem really overwhelming to the outside observer. But for me its just been a wonderful experience. And there's just one reason for it. I owe it to my husband, and all his friends and family who've so far been amazing people. Every single person has really charming and made me feel very welcome wherever I went. Its the people you meet that make or break this sort of a situation and I'm lucky to have these folks around.
Now I see my family and friends from back home from the other side of the webcam. Thank heavens for modern technology. I now have the best of both worlds, and life's going to keep changing. I know I'll do just great, because I have the best people both old and new whom I can call family and friends.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The rollercoaster I call 2010
It's been one heck of a long year for sure. But one hell of a ride too. I've learnt some significant life lessons though, which I've been meaning to jot down here. But its really hard to focus when your whole mind is forever captivated by just one delightful being. But inspiration strikes and here it goes.
Its true what they say about happiness being just around the corner. Yes I was indeed running around in circles, until one day the universe decided to cut me some slack an throw me a corner.
The world is filled with strange crazy people. But there's something to learn from everyone. However, just think twice before inviting the crazy ones to your wedding cause you cant un-invite them.
If something didn't work out (job, deal, relationship, whatever) its only because you deserve something much better.
You can learn a lot even from other people's mistakes. For example I learnt that drinking and 'facebooking' is as dangerous as drinking and driving.
Luck definitely favors only those who are prepared, and are ready to work their backsides off for what they want. Wallowing in self pity does not get you anywhere.
Farmville and Lexulous addictions are very serious addictions and im proud to declare that Im now over 8 months sober!
Having a positive attitude is not one of the ways to be truly happy. Its the ONLY way. I made no mistakes in 2010. I only discovered a zillion ways how things can go wrong.
Its true what they say about happiness being just around the corner. Yes I was indeed running around in circles, until one day the universe decided to cut me some slack an throw me a corner.
The world is filled with strange crazy people. But there's something to learn from everyone. However, just think twice before inviting the crazy ones to your wedding cause you cant un-invite them.
If something didn't work out (job, deal, relationship, whatever) its only because you deserve something much better.
You can learn a lot even from other people's mistakes. For example I learnt that drinking and 'facebooking' is as dangerous as drinking and driving.
Luck definitely favors only those who are prepared, and are ready to work their backsides off for what they want. Wallowing in self pity does not get you anywhere.
Farmville and Lexulous addictions are very serious addictions and im proud to declare that Im now over 8 months sober!
Having a positive attitude is not one of the ways to be truly happy. Its the ONLY way. I made no mistakes in 2010. I only discovered a zillion ways how things can go wrong.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Seperation anxiety
A very wise person recently told me that the only permanent thing in life is change. We've heard this told and instilled in us right from childhood. Why is it that in spite of this, its still hard to accept when it actually happens?
I recently quit work. Why? because I have to get married to the love of my life and go live with him in a faraway land. Logically it was a good time for a change for me work wise and a big exciting step forward in life. But when it actually came to the last day at work I had to summon up every ounce of strength to keep from crying. Especially when everyone were saying such nice things about me! I really think people shouldn't wait for farewells to say nice things about each other.
Apart from work itself, there are other things I'm sure I'll never have again, no matter how good my next job is.
My girls. I love them sooo much and sometimes the only reason I had, to get out of bed and live to face the day, was the hope of looking forward to coffee and lunch with them. You just know it when you make friends who'll be with you forever. And its painful knowing you wont see them everyday anymore.
My whole team. I doubt I'll ever find another crazier and fun bunch than the ones I worked with. I know I'll have many more teams to work with in the future but I doubt they'll really work their way into my heart like this one.
Monday blues. I'll probably have em again soon. But I'll miss the cold and cloudy Bangalore-Monday-mornings where all I want to do is just crawl deeper into my blanket and not come out.
The grandpa in the tea shop , the cleaner lady who stares at me with unblinking eyes in the ladies' room, the super rude bus driver who thinks the bus is a Formula1 car, the ever smiling sweet corn vending machine fellow, the yummy samosa chaat in D2 cafeteria, my work ID badge, my super cool Amex corporate card and last but not the least, my 50% corporate discount at a popular spa. You all have touched my life and will be sorely missed!!
I recently quit work. Why? because I have to get married to the love of my life and go live with him in a faraway land. Logically it was a good time for a change for me work wise and a big exciting step forward in life. But when it actually came to the last day at work I had to summon up every ounce of strength to keep from crying. Especially when everyone were saying such nice things about me! I really think people shouldn't wait for farewells to say nice things about each other.
Apart from work itself, there are other things I'm sure I'll never have again, no matter how good my next job is.
My girls. I love them sooo much and sometimes the only reason I had, to get out of bed and live to face the day, was the hope of looking forward to coffee and lunch with them. You just know it when you make friends who'll be with you forever. And its painful knowing you wont see them everyday anymore.
My whole team. I doubt I'll ever find another crazier and fun bunch than the ones I worked with. I know I'll have many more teams to work with in the future but I doubt they'll really work their way into my heart like this one.
Monday blues. I'll probably have em again soon. But I'll miss the cold and cloudy Bangalore-Monday-mornings where all I want to do is just crawl deeper into my blanket and not come out.
The grandpa in the tea shop , the cleaner lady who stares at me with unblinking eyes in the ladies' room, the super rude bus driver who thinks the bus is a Formula1 car, the ever smiling sweet corn vending machine fellow, the yummy samosa chaat in D2 cafeteria, my work ID badge, my super cool Amex corporate card and last but not the least, my 50% corporate discount at a popular spa. You all have touched my life and will be sorely missed!!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
New Age Narcissism
Almost anybody can be a celebrity now. And its getting easier to become one. I'll tell you how. Log into Facebook/Twitter. Put up a really controversial status message and WHAM!! You're a celebrity!
Its been a while since I logged on to my favorite social networking website or chat client and haven't come across at least one status message, post, picture or video link that doesn't make me want to instantly disown that person as my friend. People have discovered a whole new forum for seeking the attention that they crave.
Gone are the days when you updated your status with something witty or humorous, or just something interesting you did or came across. These days all I see is a bunch of people showing off blatantly about their latest most expensive purchase, their romantic conquests, and things that are way too personal, just so they can get a bunch of comments that runs into the hundreds.
These are my top few 'Annoy' material.
1. The friend who's so full of love she's not afraid to display it.
A picture of her exhibiting public display of affection to her boyfriend, which is not appropriate to be viewed by people under 18 years of age, is definitely NOT an appropriate display picture for a profile/instant messenger. She and I are no longer friends on Facebook.
2. The friend who blatantly lies to garner publicity.
Jane: "Just had a near death experience in the bus on my way back from work :( " -via Mobile net
This is followed by at least 50+ comments ranging from shock to sympathy.
Why am I annoyed? I was on the same damned bus!! A sudden brake is NOT a near death experience!!!
3. The mystery relationship status
"Annie is in a relationship"
Comments go like this
"Oh wow seriously? Who who?" ( Picture different forms of this line in at least 30 different comments)
Annie replies "He he he its a secret ;)"
If it was so secret why put it up??
4. The ever breaking up friends/couples.
This can get annoying if the people fighting are both on your friend list.
John and Jane are in a relationship
The next day
John is no longer in a relationship.
Jane is no longer in a relationship.
The day after
John and Jane are now friends. John found Jane using friend finder.
John and Jane are in a relationship.
Few hours later
John is no longer in a relationship.
Jane is no longer in a relationship.
John: Some bit**** are just out there to ruin your life
Jane: Men are scum!!!
At this point I break. I do not want to witness their on-the-rocks relationship every time I log in. John and Jane have been discreetly un-friend-ed.
5. The guy who tells the world every minute of his boring existence
Just woke up all kicked to watch the new movie Endhiran!! 9.00 am
On my way to the multiplex. Soooo excited to watch Endhiran. 10.00 am
Just got my tickets to watch Endhiran!! 10.20 am
Sitting in Inox waiting for Endhiran to start. 10.45 am
Half an hour into the movie!! Its amazing so far!!. 11.30 am
Damn its the interval!! Im loving Endhiran. 12.40pm
Ooooh final fight scene of Endhiran. 1.40pm
Just finished watching Endhiran!! it was amazing!! 2.00pm
Yeah he's no longer my friend either. Don't judge me I'm sure he'll post a spoiler for the next movie!
6. The girl you barely know who comments on every single thing you say, or every picture you post.
"Hey dint you wear this outfit like last friday?" or "Woah your nephew looks just like his dad in this pic!" or "Woah nice pic of you and the girls. That night was so much fun too bad I dint get a picture with you guys!". I just wanted to reply: "No sweetheart we havent met in ages so you probably have no idea what I wore last friday", "Have you ever seen my nephew's dad to see the resemblance???", "Yes, that night was fun. Mostly because you weren't there!!". But no, I just patiently deleted the comments and moved on with life.
7. The girl who posts a picture of herself, dressed only in a bathrobe, sitting provocatively on the edge of a bathtub and makes it visible even to friends of friends.
She gets like 150+ comments in 30 mins. Mission accomplished, congrats. I get queries from a dozen male friends who can see the pic. My friend list count gets reduced by one :)
The list goes on but even recollecting them is making me squeamish. I think one day people in general will get sick of these posts and the people who comment on them will get too lazy. Until then, enjoy your daily dose of narcissists every time you log in!!
Its been a while since I logged on to my favorite social networking website or chat client and haven't come across at least one status message, post, picture or video link that doesn't make me want to instantly disown that person as my friend. People have discovered a whole new forum for seeking the attention that they crave.
Gone are the days when you updated your status with something witty or humorous, or just something interesting you did or came across. These days all I see is a bunch of people showing off blatantly about their latest most expensive purchase, their romantic conquests, and things that are way too personal, just so they can get a bunch of comments that runs into the hundreds.
These are my top few 'Annoy' material.
1. The friend who's so full of love she's not afraid to display it.
A picture of her exhibiting public display of affection to her boyfriend, which is not appropriate to be viewed by people under 18 years of age, is definitely NOT an appropriate display picture for a profile/instant messenger. She and I are no longer friends on Facebook.
2. The friend who blatantly lies to garner publicity.
Jane: "Just had a near death experience in the bus on my way back from work :( " -via Mobile net
This is followed by at least 50+ comments ranging from shock to sympathy.
Why am I annoyed? I was on the same damned bus!! A sudden brake is NOT a near death experience!!!
3. The mystery relationship status
"Annie is in a relationship"
Comments go like this
"Oh wow seriously? Who who?" ( Picture different forms of this line in at least 30 different comments)
Annie replies "He he he its a secret ;)"
If it was so secret why put it up??
4. The ever breaking up friends/couples.
This can get annoying if the people fighting are both on your friend list.
John and Jane are in a relationship
The next day
John is no longer in a relationship.
Jane is no longer in a relationship.
The day after
John and Jane are now friends. John found Jane using friend finder.
John and Jane are in a relationship.
Few hours later
John is no longer in a relationship.
Jane is no longer in a relationship.
John: Some bit**** are just out there to ruin your life
Jane: Men are scum!!!
At this point I break. I do not want to witness their on-the-rocks relationship every time I log in. John and Jane have been discreetly un-friend-ed.
5. The guy who tells the world every minute of his boring existence
Just woke up all kicked to watch the new movie Endhiran!! 9.00 am
On my way to the multiplex. Soooo excited to watch Endhiran. 10.00 am
Just got my tickets to watch Endhiran!! 10.20 am
Sitting in Inox waiting for Endhiran to start. 10.45 am
Half an hour into the movie!! Its amazing so far!!. 11.30 am
Damn its the interval!! Im loving Endhiran. 12.40pm
Ooooh final fight scene of Endhiran. 1.40pm
Just finished watching Endhiran!! it was amazing!! 2.00pm
Yeah he's no longer my friend either. Don't judge me I'm sure he'll post a spoiler for the next movie!
6. The girl you barely know who comments on every single thing you say, or every picture you post.
"Hey dint you wear this outfit like last friday?" or "Woah your nephew looks just like his dad in this pic!" or "Woah nice pic of you and the girls. That night was so much fun too bad I dint get a picture with you guys!". I just wanted to reply: "No sweetheart we havent met in ages so you probably have no idea what I wore last friday", "Have you ever seen my nephew's dad to see the resemblance???", "Yes, that night was fun. Mostly because you weren't there!!". But no, I just patiently deleted the comments and moved on with life.
7. The girl who posts a picture of herself, dressed only in a bathrobe, sitting provocatively on the edge of a bathtub and makes it visible even to friends of friends.
She gets like 150+ comments in 30 mins. Mission accomplished, congrats. I get queries from a dozen male friends who can see the pic. My friend list count gets reduced by one :)
The list goes on but even recollecting them is making me squeamish. I think one day people in general will get sick of these posts and the people who comment on them will get too lazy. Until then, enjoy your daily dose of narcissists every time you log in!!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
When Sundi Met Kirik
Finally. Yes, I finally decided to sit down and write out my love story.
June 5th, 2010. One lazy Saturday afternoon.
There I was sitting in an Italian cafe with my friends when I got an email from a guy. He gave a brief formal introduction and asked me to let him know when it would be a good time to call. I thought well, yet another dude my folks want me to 'get to know'. This would all be forgotten in a few days like the others I thought. I replied, told him to call whenever. Turned off the phone browser and forgot about it. Whatever!
Later that evening.
I got a call from an ISD number. I picked up and it was the same 'Dude from Singapore' who'd emailed earlier. Well I wasn't doing anything more interesting, so I settled down to what I thought will be another talk where I'd secretly cringe at every grammatical mistake the guy would make. Boy was I in for a rude shock.
The guy on the other end was pleasant and easy to talk to. So well, me being the big mouth got reallllly talking in a while. What surprised me was that this guy could talk more than me!! Good start I thought. To make a long story short when I hung up I realized two things. I hadn't laughed so much in a long time. And I FORGOT DINNER!! I NEVER forget dinner!!! Damn you Arun Sundaram.
The next day.
I dint have any expectations from the previous day's conversation. Though it hung around in my head longer than usual. When I went online, he was there. We again got talking and all I can remember of that conversation was that my net kept snapping every 2 mins. Now normally that would cause people on the other end to get frustrated and tell me to take a hike. But, this one called. I mean we both know we we weren't required to talk more than once in say a week and then tell our folks it wasn't working out. That's how arranged marriages work (or rather don't). But when he called and we spoke I felt like I was really connecting to a long lost friend.
Wait a minute. What the hell was I doing? Opening up to a complete stranger? This is usually the place where I sense something like a relationship forming, and freak out and run for the hills. I was definitely not running. Or even walking in the hill direction.
Every other day after that.
I'm on the way to work, we talk. Coffee time in the evening at work, we talk. Later at night, we talk. Our folks had no clue about how much we were bonding, so no pressure. He drew me like a moth to a flame with his charm.
June 15th, late evening.
Chennai, at the home of his folks.
I was nervous as hell. Our folks finally realized we'd been talking and things were so far so good. So they decided to meet up. This was the very 1st time I was meeting a guy's folks (and definitely not before I met the guy!). It was a great evening. Things went really well and everyone ended up loving everyone.
Needless to say me and him realized that night that things had gotten serious. Was I scared or jittery? Surprisingly the answer was no :) I was loving it!
Was this now a relationship? Or was it some situation where I just happen to get along with a 'suitable boy'. It was definitely not option 2. Never once during this whole thing did i take out my imaginary check list of 'The things I'm looking for in the perfect guy'. In fact I threw away the damned list. It was crazy how we had nothing in common, but somehow connected on almost everything.
July 2nd, Friday.
As it so happened he'd just taken a long vacation before we got taking. So he wouldn't be able to take days off anytime soon. We'd been talking for nearly a month and things were in a place where you cant get ahead nor could we just sit around and pretend nothing was happening. So this is what he did. He flew in on a Friday night. Crashed with his friend in Bangalore and we planned to spend the Saturday together before he flew back on Saturday night.
July 3rd, Saturday, early that morning.
His friend's place. I sat with my dad in his friend's living room as we waited for for him to get ready. The friend and his wife were really nice and kept us entertained as I was nervous as hell inside. It was the point of no return. The whole phone thing seemed like a distant dream. I could only hope and pray that the amazing guy I spoke to would be exactly the same as the one who was going to walk out of that room. And then he entered. He looked so bloody handsome. He shook my dad's hand politely and then looked at me. As he shook my hand he said "You're real!". And that was the 1st thing Mr Arun Sundaram ever told me face to face.
As we drove back to my place he was getting along really well with my dad. And strangely that made me very happy. When we got home, my mom had prepared a huge yummy spread for breakfast. He simply loved the food. And I love men who love their food. :)
After breakfast, we got into a cab and we were finally alone. There was absolutely no awkwardness and we got along like a house on fire. We went to the same Italian place for coffee and we got talking.
After a while gave me a broad grin and said. "I'm just totally in love with you so the ball's in your court now". After jumping with joy internally, I thought well seems like its the last time I'll get to act all pricey so I said "Well, we have the whole day so lets not be hasty".
The chemistry was just mind blowing. It was amazing watching him as he spoke passionately about the things he loved doing.It was better than anything I'd imagined it to be. Looking into his eyes I realized, everything I had craved for all my life was right here. Crap, this was IT. This was THE ONE. Yay! :)
I gave him the belated birthday gift that I'd got him, a tie. He seemed to really like it. We then headed off for lunch in a quaint place with tables in a garden. The food was good and it rained a little. Sitting with him under the canopy of a giant umbrella eating lunch was just like magic. We got a lot closer as we headed back home and even took a few goofy pics on the ride back home.
When we got home we both pretty much knew what I was going to say. Still we spent hours talking. Just before sunset I took him to my favorite place in my house. On the terrace, on top of my tank. The view was amazing, the sun setting over a large stretch of the city. It was then he put his arm around me and asked me "Will you marry me?" I said "Yeah ok!". Life had just gotten perfecter than I'd ever dreamed it would. the rest of the day passed in a frenzy of happy parents and uncles and aunts until it was time for him to leave. I went with my dad to the airport to drop him off. It was the hardest goodbye of my life.
July 31st,
Yet another trip to India. This time 3 whole days of pure unadulterated bliss. The moment I'll always treasure was this: The light drizzle, cold winds, me and him sitting on the side of a pool on a bench in a resort. We're having our first serious talk and he reaches in and pulls out the loveliest necklace ever. And again, asked me to be his wife. :)
September 5th,
On stage, before all our family and friends. We exchanged rings, and got officially engaged.
Well, its been the best 3 and a half months of my life so far. I totalllly love being in love. Its going to be happily ever after I hope. So is the girl who used to suffer from severe acute commitment phobia worried? Nope, when you know you've met 'The One' you cant wait for the rest of your life to start!!
June 5th, 2010. One lazy Saturday afternoon.
There I was sitting in an Italian cafe with my friends when I got an email from a guy. He gave a brief formal introduction and asked me to let him know when it would be a good time to call. I thought well, yet another dude my folks want me to 'get to know'. This would all be forgotten in a few days like the others I thought. I replied, told him to call whenever. Turned off the phone browser and forgot about it. Whatever!
Later that evening.
I got a call from an ISD number. I picked up and it was the same 'Dude from Singapore' who'd emailed earlier. Well I wasn't doing anything more interesting, so I settled down to what I thought will be another talk where I'd secretly cringe at every grammatical mistake the guy would make. Boy was I in for a rude shock.
The guy on the other end was pleasant and easy to talk to. So well, me being the big mouth got reallllly talking in a while. What surprised me was that this guy could talk more than me!! Good start I thought. To make a long story short when I hung up I realized two things. I hadn't laughed so much in a long time. And I FORGOT DINNER!! I NEVER forget dinner!!! Damn you Arun Sundaram.
The next day.
I dint have any expectations from the previous day's conversation. Though it hung around in my head longer than usual. When I went online, he was there. We again got talking and all I can remember of that conversation was that my net kept snapping every 2 mins. Now normally that would cause people on the other end to get frustrated and tell me to take a hike. But, this one called. I mean we both know we we weren't required to talk more than once in say a week and then tell our folks it wasn't working out. That's how arranged marriages work (or rather don't). But when he called and we spoke I felt like I was really connecting to a long lost friend.
Wait a minute. What the hell was I doing? Opening up to a complete stranger? This is usually the place where I sense something like a relationship forming, and freak out and run for the hills. I was definitely not running. Or even walking in the hill direction.
Every other day after that.
I'm on the way to work, we talk. Coffee time in the evening at work, we talk. Later at night, we talk. Our folks had no clue about how much we were bonding, so no pressure. He drew me like a moth to a flame with his charm.
June 15th, late evening.
Chennai, at the home of his folks.
I was nervous as hell. Our folks finally realized we'd been talking and things were so far so good. So they decided to meet up. This was the very 1st time I was meeting a guy's folks (and definitely not before I met the guy!). It was a great evening. Things went really well and everyone ended up loving everyone.
Needless to say me and him realized that night that things had gotten serious. Was I scared or jittery? Surprisingly the answer was no :) I was loving it!
Was this now a relationship? Or was it some situation where I just happen to get along with a 'suitable boy'. It was definitely not option 2. Never once during this whole thing did i take out my imaginary check list of 'The things I'm looking for in the perfect guy'. In fact I threw away the damned list. It was crazy how we had nothing in common, but somehow connected on almost everything.
July 2nd, Friday.
As it so happened he'd just taken a long vacation before we got taking. So he wouldn't be able to take days off anytime soon. We'd been talking for nearly a month and things were in a place where you cant get ahead nor could we just sit around and pretend nothing was happening. So this is what he did. He flew in on a Friday night. Crashed with his friend in Bangalore and we planned to spend the Saturday together before he flew back on Saturday night.
July 3rd, Saturday, early that morning.
His friend's place. I sat with my dad in his friend's living room as we waited for for him to get ready. The friend and his wife were really nice and kept us entertained as I was nervous as hell inside. It was the point of no return. The whole phone thing seemed like a distant dream. I could only hope and pray that the amazing guy I spoke to would be exactly the same as the one who was going to walk out of that room. And then he entered. He looked so bloody handsome. He shook my dad's hand politely and then looked at me. As he shook my hand he said "You're real!". And that was the 1st thing Mr Arun Sundaram ever told me face to face.
As we drove back to my place he was getting along really well with my dad. And strangely that made me very happy. When we got home, my mom had prepared a huge yummy spread for breakfast. He simply loved the food. And I love men who love their food. :)
After breakfast, we got into a cab and we were finally alone. There was absolutely no awkwardness and we got along like a house on fire. We went to the same Italian place for coffee and we got talking.
After a while gave me a broad grin and said. "I'm just totally in love with you so the ball's in your court now". After jumping with joy internally, I thought well seems like its the last time I'll get to act all pricey so I said "Well, we have the whole day so lets not be hasty".
The chemistry was just mind blowing. It was amazing watching him as he spoke passionately about the things he loved doing.It was better than anything I'd imagined it to be. Looking into his eyes I realized, everything I had craved for all my life was right here. Crap, this was IT. This was THE ONE. Yay! :)
I gave him the belated birthday gift that I'd got him, a tie. He seemed to really like it. We then headed off for lunch in a quaint place with tables in a garden. The food was good and it rained a little. Sitting with him under the canopy of a giant umbrella eating lunch was just like magic. We got a lot closer as we headed back home and even took a few goofy pics on the ride back home.
When we got home we both pretty much knew what I was going to say. Still we spent hours talking. Just before sunset I took him to my favorite place in my house. On the terrace, on top of my tank. The view was amazing, the sun setting over a large stretch of the city. It was then he put his arm around me and asked me "Will you marry me?" I said "Yeah ok!". Life had just gotten perfecter than I'd ever dreamed it would. the rest of the day passed in a frenzy of happy parents and uncles and aunts until it was time for him to leave. I went with my dad to the airport to drop him off. It was the hardest goodbye of my life.
July 31st,
Yet another trip to India. This time 3 whole days of pure unadulterated bliss. The moment I'll always treasure was this: The light drizzle, cold winds, me and him sitting on the side of a pool on a bench in a resort. We're having our first serious talk and he reaches in and pulls out the loveliest necklace ever. And again, asked me to be his wife. :)
September 5th,
On stage, before all our family and friends. We exchanged rings, and got officially engaged.
Well, its been the best 3 and a half months of my life so far. I totalllly love being in love. Its going to be happily ever after I hope. So is the girl who used to suffer from severe acute commitment phobia worried? Nope, when you know you've met 'The One' you cant wait for the rest of your life to start!!
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