Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Mätämuna

Disclaimer: Again... any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional. This article is being issued in the interest of public safety.


The corporate jungle is truly a treasure trove of various species of wild life. One can come across many interesting and sometimes dangerous species of animals. In my experience of navigating this harsh wilderness i have come across many hazardous creatures of various degrees. By far the most vile creature I have come across would have to be the cyka mätämuna.

The cyka mätämuna, commonly known as the mätämuna is a venomous, two faced creature which is basically a scavenger but can exhibit predatory behavior occasionally. Though this creature is rare chances are that you will find one in every team.

The mätämuna goes about climbing the corporate ladder in a strange way. Though it will seem to be capable of climbing straight, it chooses to destroy other creatures and step on their heads to reach the next rung in the ladder. The mätämuna chooses its prey very carefully. It lures the prey with sweet talk, flattery and feigned friendship until the unsuspecting prey is within striking distance. The mätämuna is also known for poisoning other creatures not directly in its way as a precautionary measure.

A mätämuna is quite hard to identify because it blends almost chameleon like with its surroundings. However there are some unique traits which can be useful to distinguish this creature. Almost always, a mätämuna has a complete disregard for the feelings of the surrounding creatures. Its call is more often than not a bark. A very rude bark. But it changes its call to resemble that of a human baby when it's either in a defensive position or when its about to strike its prey. The mätämuna is also known to openly flaunt its mate in very inappropriate manners. A very striking trait of the mätämuna would be its lack of friends. The mätämuna does have a way with fellow creatures and may seem friendly. But since the other creatures discover the mätämuna's true nature sooner or later, long lasting friends would be nearly absent from its life.

Extreme caution has to be exercised in the presence of this creature. Victims have been known to have their spirits broken and more often that not forced to move a step down on the corporate ladder.

The corporate jungle can seem like an exciting place to go on a safari. But remember information is your only defence. Beware of creatures like the cyka mätämuna, and take all the precautions or you WILL be its next victim.
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