Sunday, June 7, 2009

When Im in love :)

A lil bit of soul searching... its been a while.

Picture this... A good friend of yours is in pain. Why? He/She is madly in love or in a troubled relationship or in a crappy job. Well you'd like to see them throw in the towel and walk away but they just wont do it! You wonder why.. this person has personality, relatively good looks, very talented, etc. You know for a fact that they can do a lot better than the situation they are in. Then why is it so hard for the person in question to see it for themselves?

The answer is quite simple actually. They dont love themselves as much as they ought to.

Sounds cheesy? Well think about it. This hit me most profoundly once during college. A guy had treated my best friend like garbage. I was all out for his blood. I wanted nothing less than murder. But my dear friend on the other hand was just upset. Thats all. No anger. It was almost like she expected to be treated that way.

Funny thing is when something similar happened to me I wasn't the one who was most upset. My closest friends would have shredded the guy in question had he been around. But I was just content being depressed.

When you think of someone your close to being in pain or suffering you tend to be protective because you love them and care about them. Now think about it. If you cared about your own feelings, if you loved yourself just half that much you wouldn't get yourself in messes to start with.

So hence I started actively 'loving' myself. Putting my needs before others sometimes. Doing something just because I felt like it. Just like how I'd treat a significant other. Now theres a fine line between loving yourself and selfishness. Loving yourself involves realizing what an amazing person you are. Doing things for yourself that you have to go out of your way to do.

For example something very simple yet totally satifying, was when I got a professional pedicure. Yeah stop laughing now. Think about it. It costs a small bomb, my feet are in perfectly good condition so I dont technically need one. But I just went ahead and got one. And boy I loved the pampering. It's just a matter of making yourself feel worthy of the finer things in life (can be read as worthy of finer people too).

After all if you dont love yourself, is it really fair to expect someone else to love you?
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